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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519926">the horror in you is what you see in me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumblebee_dani/pseuds/grumblebee_dani'>grumblebee_dani</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Domestic Fluff, Gore, Gratuitous Smut, Other, Serial Killers, Yandere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:15:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumblebee_dani/pseuds/grumblebee_dani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An artist who specializes in gut-wrenchingly realistic and/or abstract horror has found their other half in a man who may or may not be trying out their ideas before they paint them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>original gender neutral character/original male character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is purely an outlet for the disgusting little bit of sludge in my soul that wants to see horrible things play out.</p><p>also I feel like this one is at a good stopping point, but I may add more later if I feel like it. So the completed status is somewhat negotiable.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The canvas spanned the length of the room and towered over Sparrow's head. It had been years since Loren had given them the name, but it still made their heart flip when he said it. Funny that a pet name had come to identify them better than the one on their birth certificate.</p><p>Sparrow gave the dripping canvas a last once-over and pulled out their pocket knife. Another gift from Loren. A few quick slashes and the painted figure was fitted with tiger stripes that waved in the breeze from the open window. Rifling in drawers until finding the blood red twine they were looking for, Sparrow threaded sloppy stitches into every tear but one. The largest one, cutting across the midsection of the figure, was left open and raw. </p><p>With a heavy stroke of red paint to the frayed edges of torn canvas, Sparrow finally felt that the piece was done. Leaving it to dry in the studio, they skipped down the stairs into the arms of their lover.</p><p>"All done, birdie?"</p><p>Sparrow looked up into Loren's bright green eyes. "Yep. I took some of your advice for the composition, and I think you'll remember it once you see."</p><p>"Well let's go have a look then."</p><p> </p><p>Loren led the way back up to the studio and whistled at the sight. "Damn, birdie! Didja go through my notes for that pose?"</p><p>Sparrow shook their head proudly. "Nope, it's all from memory."</p><p>"Guess you really do listen to me when I ramble, huh?" He wrapped his arms around their waist and planted a kiss on their temple. "I love it."</p><p>The larger-than-life figure in the painting was sprawled across the canvas in a permanent defensive position. Arms up, barely covering a screaming mouth. Legs angled strangely underneath, surely broken. Great big slashes over each limb and the torso. It was perfect in the way it haunted the viewer. A viewer that was not Sparrow or Loren, that is. The two of them gazed fondly at the piece, knowing it was a shared effort in a way.</p><p>"How about I go out tonight and find you some new inspiration?"</p><p>Sparrow tilted their head up to kiss his jaw, "So soon? It feels like you just got back."</p><p>He sighed through his nose, "I know birdie. I just gotta scratch the itch, y'know?"</p><p>"Well be careful. I don't want your body to be the model for my next piece."</p><p>Loren swayed them back and forth in his arms, "I'll always come back to you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 1 Year Ago</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>how does one meet a killer?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strike>Caroline</strike> sighed as they typed away at another report. Temp work was not interesting in the least, but taking a second job wasn't optional at that point. They were still catching up on the previous month's bills. </p><p>Hearing their phone buzz, they flipped it over to see the screen read "spam likely." It hardly mattered when they were that bored.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Is this <strike>Caroline</strike>?"</p><p>They sat back in their chair and hoped this stranger was a chatty one. "That's me. What can I do for ya?"</p><p>The voice on the other end was quiet for a moment, almost as if the stranger was considering their next words. "Are you happy?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Are you happy with your life being the way it is?"</p><p><strike>Caroline</strike> wondered for half a second if this person could read their mind. "Well...no."</p><p>"Do you want it to change?"</p><p>"This is maybe the most ominous sales pitch I've ever heard, but yes, I would like some things to change."</p><p>The stranger laughed quietly and they liked the sound. "Just so happens that what I'm selling could turn your whole world upside down. D'ya wanna know what it is?"</p><p>They shrugged, forgetting the other person couldn't see them. "Sure, why not?"</p><p>"One condition, though."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Ya gotta let me in."</p><p>A sudden knock at the door startled <strike>Caroline</strike>, but they were sick enough of their current life that they stood and stepped closer to it. "What are you gonna do if I open the door?"</p><p>"I'm gonna change your life."</p><p>The stranger's tone hadn't changed a bit, but somehow that was even creepier. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, creepy was right up their alley along with horror movies and walking alone at night.</p><p>"Ending someone's life doesn't change it much. Only makes it stagnate permanently."</p><p>Another chuckle from the phone. "Clever, I'll give you that. Now are you gonna open the door or what?"</p><p>"Which are you planning on doing? Changing my life or ending it?"</p><p>"Depends on if you're cute face to face, or if the distance helped."</p><p><strike>Caroline</strike> froze. "You've been watching me."</p><p>"For a month or so, yeah. Honestly, I'm surprised I lasted that long without trying to talk to you."</p><p>"I take it you liked what you saw?" And now they were officially flirting with someone who was probably going to kill them.</p><p>"Oh I loved it, little sparrow. Especially when you stand on your tip toes to reach the cabinets in your kitchen. Made me wanna lift you up myself."</p><p>A shudder ran down their spine. How many times had they wished someone would hold them in a pair of big strong arms? "Why did you wait so long to talk to me?"</p><p>"Well, I wanted to be sure you were the one."</p><p>"One for what?" Did they really want to know the answer? Too late.</p><p>"For me."</p><p>The image of a knight in shining armor flashed across their mind, quickly morphing into a shadowy figure swooping them up with clawed hands onto a demonic steed. And that image was the one that truly excited them.</p><p>The door unlocked, to the stranger's surprise. Inching it open was the object of his affection in the flesh. He sucked in a breath and waited for their reaction.</p><p>The man at the door was handsome, there was no doubt about that. Curly auburn hair framing a face that may have been boyish without the stubble. Eyes the color of sunlit grass stared into theirs expectantly.</p><p>"Show me you don't have any weapons and I might let you in."</p><p>The man cocked his head with a sly smile. "Who says I'd need a weapon to kill you?"</p><p><strike>Caroline</strike> sighed, letting their forehead drop to the wood of the door before opening it wide enough for the man to enter. "At this point, you might as well."</p><p>The man looked around the front room of the townhouse, almost like he was taking stock of it. "That's quitter talk. How am I supposed to enjoy killing you if you won't even put up a fight?"</p><p>They shrugged and flopped onto the sofa in the next room. "Sucks to be both of us, I guess."</p><p>He stared at them for a moment before taking a seat beside them. "Name's Loren."</p><p>"You already know mine."</p><p>"Yep." He made a show of pulling the 'yawn and stretch to put your arm around them' trick, which they were indifferent to.</p><p>"Always hated it."</p><p>"Yeah? Then why don't you just be my little sparrow?"</p><p>They looked up at him, as if seeing him for the very first time. "Better than the one I've got."</p><p> </p><p>Loren made himself at home in the dingy little townhouse. The newly named Sparrow just watched him putter around with a mix of amusement and utter bewilderment. Was this guy going to kill them or not?</p><p>He raided the fridge and the pantry, then made a mess of the kitchen trying to put a meal together. Didn't clean up after himself, but Sparrow wasn't expecting much chivalry.</p><p>"You want anything?"</p><p>They flipped through channels, still splayed out on the couch. "Nah, I'm good."</p><p>There was a scoff from the other room. "Little birds need to eat so they can grow big and strong!"</p><p>"Afraid I'm past puberty by now, Loren. Not much growing I can do."</p><p>He sat down beside them with his plate and a 'hmph.' "I know you're not eating, sweetheart."</p><p>They rolled their eyes. How often did this guy peep through their windows? </p><p>"Just one bite?" Loren waved a forkful of leftover Chinese food at them.</p><p>"Only if you quit pestering me."</p><p>His playful smile widened. "Deal." Without even considering handing them the fork, he pushed the food up to their mouth, which graciously accepted it. "There, that's a good birdie."</p><p>Sparrow's cheeks darkened and they pointedly looked toward the tv screen instead of anywhere near Loren. He settled back into the cushions with a satisfied smirk they couldn't see.</p><p>In Sparrow's mind, things were a mess. Their stalker and possible murderer was eating their food and relaxing on their couch. The feeling of apathy that had wormed its way into every part of their being was loosening its hold because of this dangerous man. A stranger who knew more about them than they knew about him. Sparrow considered these thoughts as they flashed into focus, not realizing that they hadn't moved for a few minutes.</p><p>"Hey, earth to birdie! You get to yourself before I could?"</p><p>Loren's voice snapped them out of their thoughts and brought their eyes to his. It really was such a pretty shade of green.</p><p>"Yep! Still here, sorry about that." Sparrow shook their head free of clouds and brought Netflix up onto the screen. "What do you wanna watch?"</p><p>"I'm a horror fan, myself."</p><p>Sparrow narrowed their eyes at him before rolling them back to the tv. "Of course you are. Little on the nose, don't you think?"</p><p>Loren finally got to show them that smirk. "What, you mean that I'm a creepy guy you let into your house and now I'm reminding you that I like the feeling of fear?"</p><p>"Exactly that." They scrolled through the titles. "You in the mood for cheesy or actually scary?"</p><p>"I think I've made my point well enough, so let's watch one of those D-listers from the seventies."</p><p>"Like with the muppet lookin' monsters and actors who should've stuck to porn?"</p><p>Loren laughed, earning a genuine smile from them. "Couldn't have said it better myself."</p><p> </p><p>The unlikely pair went through the list one by one until Loren noticed that it was dark outside and stood up from the couch. "Well shit, guess I stole your whole day, huh?"</p><p>Feeling a little bold (definitely not because of the beer cans on the coffee table,) Sparrow said, "Any time, darlin'."</p><p>He quirked an eyebrow in their direction and stepped close enough to feel the warmth from their body on his. "Is that an invitation?"</p><p>They met his gaze without hesitation. "As long as you aren't stalking other birds."</p><p>The grin he sent back was almost feral. "Oh no, no, no, little Sparrow. I'm yours just as much as you are mine." The light from the table lamp reflected in his eyes, showing them just how dilated his pupils were. "You're the only one for me, sweetheart. And there's no way I'm letting you go."</p><p>Sparrow met that feral grin with a crooked, one could even say flirtatious, smile. All notions of apprehension were gone - replaced with excitement for this new reason to live. "You'd better not."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>you may be thinking, "huh, Loren reminds me of someone." and if you guessed Ghostface, you'd be right. I'm a sucker for a sexy voice, what can I say?</p><p>I would also like to state that none of these characters are named after people I know, despite some accidental similarities.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sparrow takes initiative this time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every day since meeting Loren was filled with anticipation that soured into frustration. Why hadn't he called back? It had been over a week of radio silence and Sparrow was a little peeved.</p><p>By the tenth day, they were angry. Not only had Loren not called or visited, he still had the upper hand in another way. He knew so much about Sparrow and they knew nothing about him. </p><p>After falling into a few dozen internet rabbit holes, they had found only an abandoned Facebook page that may or may not have been his in middle school. The photos looked enough like him to be significant, but they couldn't be sure. The account did give a last name though - Loren Harris.</p><p>This led to hours more of clicking and scrolling. Loren wasn't exactly a common name, but there still wasn't much of a trail. Every lead was thin and Sparrow was just about to turn in for the night when their eyes skimmed over a link for a newspaper.</p><p>"Loren Harris, 18, Arrested for Burglary and Assault of a Police Officer."</p><p>Now that was something.</p><p> </p><p>Sparrow's stalker was not a public presence, but what they could find didn't paint a pretty picture. The newsline was one of three arrests they dug up; the other two were for sending death threats to people that same year. The charges were dropped every single time, though why was not stated.</p><p>Sparrow could guess that Loren's tendency to watch and threaten people had something to do with it.</p><p>Despite these obvious red flags, (and the ones from the day they met,) their thoughts just kept circling back to him. Those bright green eyes and laid-back, yet somehow still intimidating, attitude ran laps in their brain. They dreamed about Loren day and night. They wanted him. And soon enough, they came to believe that they needed him to feel anything at all.</p><p> </p><p>Sparrow gave up on their temp job, preferring instead to continue stalking their stalker. They gave up on taking care of themselves, to the point of refusing to sleep or eat. By day twenty, their townhouse was a wreck and their state of mind was even worse off. Sparrow didn't pick up the phone for any number that wasn't a spam risk and when it turned out to actually be spam, they hung up with a groan or a string of curses. They missed the call from the boss of their other job telling them they were no longer an employee, but they couldn't even think of such a thing. All they could picture in their mind was Loren.</p><p> </p><p>On day twenty-six, there was a familiar knock at Sparrow's door. Even before they answered it, they knew he was on the other side.</p><p>"Hey there little Sparrow."</p><p>They tackled him into a hug, causing him to let out an "oomph!" of surprise.</p><p>"Glad to see you missed me just as much as I missed you."</p><p>Sparrow pulled him into the house and shoved him against the door as soon as it closed. "You <em>missed </em>me?! Loren, you left me alone for almost four weeks! I've been going crazy here trying to find a way to contact you, and now you just show up and say you <em>missed me?" </em></p><p>He had the decency to look apologetic and raise his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry birdie, I really am. But my job isn't exactly safe for the people around me. Why do you think I became so obsessed with you in the first place?"</p><p>Their glare didn't soften a bit.</p><p>Loren sighed and reached out for them, just to have them pull away. "I was lonely and you were so beautiful that I couldn't look away. And the longer I looked, the more I wanted to be a part of your life. Your safe, normal, boring life where the people you know don't have to suppress the urge to cause others pain."</p><p>The candor of his words struck a chord with Sparrow, and they closed the distance with a scowl. Holding him, breathing him in and feeling his warmth, knowing he was really there, made them feel like the last twenty-five days hadn't affected them at all. </p><p>"I'm still mad at you for not calling. It's the least you could do."</p><p>"I know sweetheart, I'm sorry."</p><p> </p><p>When Sparrow finally stepped back, their movements were unnatural, like their mind wasn't on the same page as their body. But in a second, the disconnect was gone.</p><p>"Baby, will you do me a favor?"</p><p>Loren couldn't say no to a face like theirs. "Yeah, what is it?"</p><p>"Go sit on the couch for a minute. I have something I wanna show you, but I need to get it ready first."</p><p>He wasn't sure he trusted their tone of voice, but he did as he was told out of curiosity, if nothing else.</p><p>Sparrow locked the front door and went into their bedroom for just long enough that Loren began to think they had fallen asleep in there.</p><p>When they came back into the living room, they had clearly freshened up and held out their hand to him. "Close your eyes and follow me."</p><p>He continued to obey their commands, blindly following them into what must have been their bedroom.</p><p>"Lay down on the bed."</p><p>He wiggled his eyebrows and let them push him onto the mattress. "Oho, so it's<em> that </em>kind of surprise. Well why didn't you say so?"</p><p>He heard Sparrow giggle from somewhere to his right. "That wouldn't be very surprising, now would it?"</p><p>Humming in defeated agreement, he felt them climb on top of him.</p><p>"Do you trust me, baby?"</p><p>Loren grinned. "Hardly. But I want to see where this goes, so do whatever you like, sweetheart. I can take it."</p><p>Sparrow made a face of disbelief he couldn't see and guided his limbs into a starfish position. They locked each into the cuffs they had attached to the bedposts earlier and returned to straddling his waist.</p><p>"I can't let you abandon me again, Loren. If you want out, you need to learn your lesson."</p><p>Their voice was sultry, but he knew they weren't bluffing. The look in their eyes when they first opened the front door ruled that possibility out completely.</p><p>He lowered his voice to a whisper, his eyes still closed as they had asked. "What do you need from me, birdie?"</p><p>Sparrow leaned forward until he could feel their lips on his as they spoke. "I need you to be a good boy for me."</p><p>While his cock had remained dutifully unobtrusive up to that point, hearing that made it jump.</p><p>"Oh, did you like that? Did you like it when I called you a good boy?"</p><p>Loren squeezed his eyes shut tighter and willed his cock to stay in its assigned seat. Unfortunately, his captor had other ideas.</p><p>Sparrow reached down between them to stroke him through his pants. "Do you want more, baby?"</p><p>He nodded fervently.</p><p>"Then you need to tell me what it is you want."</p><p>"I want you to touch me with my clothes off," his voice embarrassingly breathy.</p><p>Sparrow smiled and shifted lower to do exactly as he asked. With his hands and feet secured, they cut his clothes off of him and discarded the fabric before returning with a bottle of lube and the contents of his pockets.</p><p>"I found a knife in your pants after I took them off; and here I thought you were just happy to see me."</p><p>He answered readily, hoping for the touching to begin soon. "Why not both?"</p><p>The pocketknife flipped open with a <em>snik </em>and  the kiss of cool metal made his cock jump again. Sparrow dragged the flat of the blade along his shaft, humming appreciatively when he made a move or a noise. </p><p>"Is this how you want me to touch you, Loren?"</p><p>He shuddered and his skin flushed even more than it already had. "Please, honey, use your hands."</p><p>The knife flipped shut and was tossed to the side. "As you wish."</p><p>Slender fingers traced the veins of his cock at a torturously slow pace. He squirmed under their touch and whined out, "Please just give me a proper blowjob, birdie <em>please. </em>You're killing me here!"</p><p>"Oh baby, you would know if I was trying to kill you. And someone like you shouldn't slip up like that, it makes you sound like you aren't actually out there killing anyone."</p><p>He sucked in a breath and held it for a second as a warm mouth descended into his cock. "Ohhh, <em>ah</em>- you're right. I do know better."</p><p>The room was filled with wet noises of lips and tongue on skin, as well as Loren's whines interspersed with words he barely managed to force out.</p><p>"<em>Ah-ah-baby</em> it's so good. I thought of you every time I watched someone die. I wanted to be holding your body instead of theirs as they met my knife."</p><p>Sparrow hummed around his cock, earning a loud, wanton moan. They could tell he was getting close and pulled off with a wet pop. "I hope you don't mean the pocket knife. That's a terrible murder weapon."</p><p>His mind reeled at the loss of contact at the brink of an orgasm, but he swallowed hard and gave a weak reply, "No, I keep it in my boot usually."</p><p>"You took your shoes off the first time you came over. Were you not planning on using it at all?"</p><p>Loren shook his head against the pillows. "Not on you. Never on you."</p><p>Sparrow enjoyed the way his breaths came out ragged. "You can open your eyes now darlin'. I want you to see me make you mine."</p><p>His whole body shuddered and he gazed up at his obsession with pure want in his eyes. </p><p>They leaned in to kiss him, then raised up on their knees so their hole was directly over his leaking cock. With their spit coating it already and a generous amount of lube, they lowered themself slowly onto him. From the look of pleasure on their face, it was obvious that they didn't really need to go so slow, they probably just wanted to torture him some more.</p><p>"Look at me while I fuck you, Loren."</p><p>His eyes locked on theirs, almost black with how wide his pupils were blown. "Yes, birdie."</p><p>Then they started to move. The pace was too much for him to handle after being denied, and he was gritting his teeth and warning them of his coming without any relief. They just kept moving, not letting up a bit as he came inside of them. He groaned and panted through the aftershocks, sensitivity of no consideration to Sparrow.</p><p>Despite any whining or pleading, they didn't relent until they were coming even harder on top of him. With a drawn out moan of his name, Sparrow felt their release join the sticky mess where their bodies connected. With a deep breath, they propped themself up on shaking legs and let it all drip out onto Loren and the bed. After another moment, they staggered to the bathroom for a towel and cleaned him and themself up before collapsing next to him.</p><p>"I'll just take a little nap and then we can go for round two."</p><p>Loren gazed down at their head on his chest with a mix of fondness and a general feeling of 'what the fuck just happened?'</p><p>Sparrow snored gently as they regained the energy for the lesson they were supposed to be teaching him. He settled back into the mattress and tried to ignore the fact that he was still cuffed to the bed frame.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Loren realizes how serious Sparrow was about teaching him a lesson.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Loren opened his eyes, Sparrow was nowhere in sight. Still cuffed to the bed, he tried to rotate his wrists and ankles to get the blood flowing.</p><p>"You better not be disobeying me!" Their tone was playful, but he took the words seriously. Sparrow had been acting differently since he got back.</p><p>When they re-entered the room, they were still just as naked as him and turning a key in slender fingers. "Loren, baby, I want you to close your eyes and imagine something for me."</p><p>He raised his eyebrows and did as he was told.</p><p>"When you touch yourself, what do you think of?"</p><p>The question wasn't entirely off topic, but he wasn't expecting it either. "Uh..." He tried to imagine he was about to masturbate and let those fantasies flood his mind. "I-I'm standing outside your window. You don't know I'm there and I haven't called you yet."</p><p>"Mhm. Go on."</p><p>Loren squirmed a little in the cuffs and kept going. "I've been there for hours and you're about to take a shower. I touch myself while you undress, but what really gets me going is the way your body blurs behind the shower door. I have to add the details in my head, so all of my focus is on that."</p><p>Sparrow walked over to their dresser and knelt down to reach the bottom drawer. The key was inserted into the lock and turned, revealing a cache of weapons against their lover's neglect.</p><p>"I would edge myself for as long as it took for you to get out of the shower."</p><p>Sparrow listened to his fantasy, using it as a guide.</p><p>"And when you did get out, all wet and shiny with water running down your body, that's when I would bust. There's no way I could hold on after that."</p><p>Sparrow sifted through the toys, carefully choosing a few. Then they stood and locked the drawer, dumping the toys on the bed. At Loren's sharp breath, they said, "Very good, baby. I need you to keep your eyes closed for now, okay?"</p><p>He nodded, body buzzing with anticipation. The first new sensation was a cage snapping together around his cock. Blood shot to his shaft when the ring closed behind his balls, trapping his erection in a device that wouldn't allow him to touch himself even if he figured out how to get the cuffs off.</p><p>Hearing his whimper, Sparrow tossed their head back and took a moment to breathe before continuing. They tied a blindfold around his eyes so he wouldn't have to focus on keeping them shut, then took a better look between his legs.</p><p>Stroking his thigh, Sparrow commanded softly, "Honey, remind me why you're being punished."</p><p>A shaky breath preceded his answer, "Because I abandoned you."</p><p>"That's right. Now I'm going to give <em>you </em>the attention I didn't get. And we've got a lot to catch up on, don't we?"</p><p>"Yes, birdie."</p><p>Sparrow flushed at hearing the name in this new context. "And you want to look pretty for your birdie, right?"</p><p>"Yes." They could see him slipping even further into subspace and were determined to enjoy every second of it.</p><p>"I have to go get something, so just relax and think about what you did to deserve punishment."</p><p> </p><p>A few months earlier, Sparrow had gotten tired of paying salons to get their most sensitive areas waxed by a stranger and bought a wax kit. They carried it into the bedroom and set it on the floor. Then they got the rest of their tools and stood at the end of the bed, stroking Loren's thigh again to give him a moment of comfort.</p><p>"What is that stuff?"</p><p>They slapped him where they had been petting. "Bad boys don't get to question their punishments."</p><p>A weak "Sorry birdie," escaped his lips and they went back to stroking his thigh.</p><p>"It's alright, baby, just don't do it again." They  wiped a bit of numbing cream on his skin so it wouldn't be too terrible, then poured the wax beads into a bowl and microwaved it until they all melted into an easily-spreadable goo. With Loren's legs wide open, they had plenty of access to apply the wax to his pubic area with a wooden popsicle stick. "There. Just need to let this harden, and then your birdie will make you nice and smooth. Can't have all this hair in the way when I'm trying to enjoy the show, huh?"</p><p>Loren nodded, breaths coming faster as time went on. Sparrow went around the side of the bed to pepper kisses on his face, neck, and chest until his breathing slowed. "I just know you'll be so good for me after this. But I need to make an example or else you might abandon me again. And we can't have that, now can we?"</p><p>"No, birdie." He sounded a bit more steady, almost determined, like he was set on pleasing them. It brought a satisfied smile to Sparrow's face.</p><p>Soon enough, the wax had hardened and they were getting a grip on the end of one section. "Ready, baby?"</p><p>"Mhm!"</p><p>They ripped it off as fast as they could, not wanting to truly torture the poor man. He let out a strangled shout of pain and his chest heaved as he whined their name.</p><p>"It's alright, baby. It'll be over soon." And it was, though it felt like an agonizing eternity to Loren. </p><p>When the skin between his legs was red and hairless, Sparrow slathered ointment all over it. Then they climbed up to lay beside him, stroking his hair and chest, whispering in his ear about how good he had been for them.</p><p>"Birdie?"</p><p>"Yes, honey?"</p><p>He hesitated for a second before asking, "Is it okay if we just lay here for a while?"</p><p>Sparrow nuzzled into his neck. "Sure, I'll get you some water and then we can rest."</p><p> </p><p>Loren hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep until he was being awoken by the feeling of his hips lifting off the bed. His lover had uncuffed his feet and suspended them by rope in a way he was still blind to. It was very possible that they had done this before.</p><p>A sleepy "hmn?" alerted Sparrow to his being awake, and they smiled sweetly at him from where they were attaching a spreader bar to his ankles. "Hey honey, ready for your birdie to make you feel good?"</p><p>Suspicious, he gave a tentative, "Yes..."</p><p>They were alright with that much, and trailed their fingers along the sensitive skin they had waxed an hour before. "Good boy. If you need something to bite down on at any point, just tell me. You won't get in trouble for speaking out of turn."</p><p>That was not a comforting comment, but he agreed and tried to force his body to relax.</p><p>"There ya go, just enjoy it." Sparrow took the knife they had found in his pants pocket and flipped it open. Without a word, they trailed the tip lightly from his neck to the base of his cock. "Let me hear you, baby. I want to know what feels good."</p><p>Loren let out a whimper and squirmed on the bed, making his legs swing a bit in the air. His lover grabbed one of his ankles to steady him, pressing a kiss to it before returning to the task at hand. They trailed the knife along the planes of his body, just shy of breaking the skin. "If you move around too much, I might accidentally knick you, baby."</p><p>They couldn't be sure, but the squirming may have increased a bit at that. They didn't try any harder not to cut him, but they weren't any more careful either. He shuddered when Sparrow traced his inner thighs, even more so when they continued around his ass to his hips. When a bead of blood formed, he whined and went still for just a second. Once Sparrow was done with this game, they licked up every drop and gave him a sloppy kiss, wanting him to taste his blood too.</p><p>"You liked that, didn't you, baby?"</p><p>Loren couldn't see the smirk on their face, but he could certainly hear it. "Yes, birdie. I love it when you use my knife on me."</p><p>"Well maybe I should hold onto it then." They tapped the handle on his hip bone.</p><p>He nodded fervently. "Yes, yes, take it. I wanted to give it to you anyway so you could defend yourself if I'm not here."</p><p>Sparrow almost blushed at that. <em>He wants to take care of me.</em></p><p>Now feeling a little warmer, maybe even a little sweeter, they set the knife down and started rubbing their hands all over Loren's body. "That's so sweet, baby, thank you." They licked and sucked at his skin, then brought their hands up to the spot. They wanted to punish their baby, not make him hate them.</p><p> </p><p>Sparrow looked at the angle of his hips, the way he was suspended with his legs wide, and decided to choose a new toy. Without a word, they sucked a finger into their mouth and then began circling his rim. He moaned immediately, followed by a series of keens and whimpers that set their skin on fire.</p><p>When they could get their finger all the way into his hole, they pulled it out to add a second. The process repeated until their fist was dragging in and out of him to the sound of his pleasured screams. Sparrow didn't pull it out, just brought it back to stretch the skin and pull it tighter around their hand, then pushed it in to wiggle their fingers in his most sensitive spots.</p><p>The wet noises coming from between his legs made Sparrow's core throb, but they weren't done yet. He needed to be ready for what they had planned. </p><p>Fingers curling, wrist twisting, they brought Loren to his first orgasm of the night even with the cage around his cock. Feeling that it was of little use after that, they removed the cage and tossed it to the side. "Poor baby, I know you've been holding that in for a while."</p><p>He groaned, cum still splattering across his chest. Pearly white drops even made it to his face, and he licked up what he could reach.</p><p>Sparrow liked that, choosing to wipe up the rest on his face and stick their finger in his mouth. As he sucked it, they continued stretching his rim until they could easily take their fist all the way out and put it back in. </p><p>Feeling how sloppy and aching his hole was, Loren moaned around their finger and wiggled his hips. </p><p>Getting the message, they switched tactics. Sparrow pulled the digit out with a wet pop and leaned down to lick the reddened skin. A violent shudder ran down his spine, and they went faster. A loud moan of their name, and they went deeper. They didn't stop laving their tongue along and past his rim until he was babbling incoherently.</p><p>Prepped and ready, Loren felt cool air between his legs for just a moment before something that normally would have hurt like a bitch slipped into his sloppy hole without resistance. He moaned at the feeling of being so full and Sparrow swallowed the noise with a kiss. When they pulled away, they tightened the harness around their legs and started thrusting into him. </p><p>Loren screamed and came again at thrust number three. They grinned and ramped up the pace until the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Their end of the dildo pressed on their clit with every move, adding their noises of pleasure to the din. Once they had found a rhythm, Sparrow pressed a button on the toy and gasped at the sudden vibrations. The two of them bucked into it shamelessly while simultaneously forcing their bodies not to move away.</p><p>Slapping, moaning, screaming, incomprehensible words of praise, and every other undeniable sound of sex surely penetrated the connecting walls of the townhouse, but neither of them were in a state of mind to consider something so insignificant.</p><p>Sparrow drove into Loren mercilessly while his body thrashed in his restraints. Only once they had come all over the toy and him, did they slow to a stop. He whined and babbled as they removed the harness, turning off the vibrations and leaving it all on the floor.</p><p>"You did so well, baby. Such a good boy for me." Their words were as shaky as their legs, but they managed to steady themself with their hands on his thighs. Loren sucked in deep breaths like a fish out of water, unable to do anything else. </p><p> </p><p>Sparrow wished they could have actually left their come leaking out of his ruined hole, but his reaction was just as satisfying. They considered lowering his feet back down, but a new idea made them choose to keep him up and spread just a bit longer. </p><p>"How do you feel?"</p><p>Loren blinked at them, exhausted and delirious with pleasure and pain. He groaned, unable to form words.</p><p>"Just one more thing while you're nice and stretched, okay?"</p><p>He nodded and rubbed the tip of his nose on theirs.</p><p>Sparrow took a string of anal beads and began to press them into his hole, largest first. "No removing this until I say so."</p><p>He nodded again, not able to do much more than twitch even with the beads being shoved deeper and deeper into his body.</p><p>When just the smallest two beads were visible, Sparrow tugged to see how secure they were, eliciting a guttural moan from their lover. Feeling that he had been punished enough, they took off the cuffs, spreader, blindfold, and ropes until the only toy left was the string of anal beads. </p><p>Sparrow took their time cleaning the both of them, massaging Loren's sensitive skin until he was soundly asleep. They dumped the dirty toys in the bathroom sink and got back into bed, snuggling up close to him and drifting off soon after.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In the Present</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Loren goes hunting.</p>
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    <p>Sparrow's beautifully gruesome painting had stirred up the urge again. Like a fire lit underneath his skin, the feeling was not dissimilar to that of arousal. And Sparrow certainly knew how to foster that feeling as well.</p><p>Notebook, pen, and burner phone in the inner pocket of his jacket, the only thing he carried within easy reach was his knife. This was a weapon for causing real damage, unlike the little thing he had given Sparrow. It usually remained in his boot, but hunting nights brought it out to shine in the moonlight.</p><p>He made a point to occasionally ask his partner if they had any suggestions for victims, but they hadn't left the house enough in recent time for any antagonism to occur. He would just have to do what he did before he met the love of his life.</p><p>Even before they had officially met, Loren made their enemies his enemies. Some part of his mind knew that enemy was a strong word for the people who would leave a sour look on Sparrow's face, but it was easily shushed. If anyone so much as cut in line in front of them, that person would be in his mind when he went out hunting. He didn't bother keeping a list or really premeditating his kills in any way, but if someone had wronged Sparrow, they were sure to wind up on the news the day after the urge struck. </p><p>Somehow, Sparrow had either failed to connect those dots, or didn't care enough to pay the murders any mind. He supposed they lived in a rougher part of town, but he also saw the way their expression didn't change when they heard of a tragedy on the same channel that advertised his handiwork.</p><p>Loren didn't like pointing it out, and they never asked. He did love to talk about his work, though. Sparrow would ask about his hunts as soon as he was home and washed of blood, and he would describe the rush and the begging for mercy in detail. He had also picked up the habit of recording every kill in his notebook so he could relive them later, and Sparrow liked to read the entries before bed sometimes. There were plenty from before they met, but it was the recent ones that they liked best. They said they enjoyed looking back to see how his writing style had improved (probably because they loved to fluster him with compliments.)</p><p>Loren smiled to himself at the thought of Sparrow telling him he could dish it, but he couldn't take it when it came to mushy stuff. They were right of course, but he wouldn't let them have the satisfaction of knowing that.</p><p> </p><p>Sticking to the darkest shadows of the night, he strode along the edge of the woods, thinking of his lover. Natural places like the woods were his favorite hunting grounds because he could be secluded and really get a feel for being a predator stalking its prey. </p><p>Funnily enough, Sparrow had never registered in his mind as prey. Sure, he stalked them, but they weren't something to be caught and killed. They were special, they were to be treasured, they were meant to be <em>his. </em></p><p>The woods divided the town into what had become the nicer and rougher halves. As long as he kept to the part where nobody had enough money to matter, he could practically slaughter anyone he wanted. All he had to do was be mindful of how often he hunted, and he would get away every time.</p><p>Sometimes there would be a bum or some other lost soul wandering through the trees as he did, but this night was not so lucky. Loren would have to branch out a little.</p><p>A trailer park was situated between the woods and a dreary shopping center. It would be an easy target, but he had hunted there before.</p><p>Moving on, he passed a gas station with no one inside but the teenage cashier. Loren frowned. Also easy, but he'd rather not gank a kid. </p><p>Then, there was the motel. His holy grail. Strangers stopping by to rest before continuing their journey on the super highway, people that wouldn't stay long enough for anyone to commit their faces to memory, much less care about them. The residents of the town had family and friends, these poor people probably wouldn't even be reported missing in the area as long as he got to them after they checked out. Loren loved the place.</p><p> </p><p>Peeping in windows, he found a room occupied by a man past his prime drinking a beer while the tv blared. Loren was a patient guy, and he stayed put until he was sure that no one else would be coming to join the man. Knowing the place like the back of his hand made things easier for Loren, who was aware that this motel let visitors sign a form and leave it in the room instead of trying to find one of the limited staff to help them check out. </p><p>He stuck the tip of his knife under the window sill and wiggled it enough to be sure that it wasn't locked. He waited some more for the man to turn off the tv and get into bed. Unaware and unsuspecting was his favorite combination.</p><p>When he could hear snores through the glass, Loren shimmied the window open and slipped inside. The room smelled like cheap beer and dust. He made sure the door was locked and shoved a towel up against the base so it would be harder for any possible sounds or blood to escape through the crack. The man was still sound asleep, so Loren took the liberty of filling out the form and leaving it on the unoccupied pillow for the staff to find. All that was left to do was take a sock from the floor and coax it into the man's mouth as a gag. Then he was free to boost the man over his shoulders and make the trek back to the woods.</p><p>Stage set, he took one hand and placed it over top of the sock gag, while the other brandished his knife. Pressing firmly with the former and feather-light with the latter, he traced a cut from the man's temple along his cheekbone to the jaw. Not enough to wake him, Loren cut a little deeper from the bottom of his eye downward. The slash was quicker too, and the man startled awake, hands flying to his face.</p><p>"Hush now, we wouldn't want to wake the other guests." Loren smiled down at his prey, eyes dilated for more than just lack of light.</p><p>The man thrashed, but didn't yell. Loren patted his cheek with the hand over his mouth. "Appreciate it. Now let's see here..."</p><p>Blade dragging across skin, he carved aimless patterns into his face, then down his neck to the bit of chest exposed above his shirt. It was boring when they chose freeze over fight or flight, but Loren would work with what he had. The man stayed so still that he might have already been dead, except for the heavy breaths he took in through his nose, as his mouth was still stuffed with his sock.</p><p>Loren rolled his eyes and backed off completely. The man stayed frozen. "Really? Nothing? You fought back at first, now you're just gonna lay there?"</p><p>The man squeezed his eyes shut, obviously intent on letting his captor do as he pleased or leave him alone.</p><p>Loren heaved a dramatic sigh and grabbed the closest hand. "Let's see how long you can keep this up." He set the hand palm down on the leaf-strewn ground. Holding down the man's wrist, he chopped off his little finger like it was a carrot for a stew. </p><p>The man's muffled scream was music to Loren's ears. "That's more like it!"</p><p>He let the tortured sobs wind down, then went for the next finger, then the next, and the next, until the thumb was gone too and all that was left was a bleeding stump. Each chop was followed by the same pause for effect, and Loren was finally having fun. </p><p>"Whaddya say, friend? Should we take care of the other hand too?"</p><p>And the moment he had been waiting for: the man started screaming and begging through the sock, thrashing even harder than before. Loren watched him, enjoying the show.</p><p>"Well, now that we're on the same page, why don't I do what I came here for in the first place?"</p><p>He slapped the flailing hand and a half away and brought his knife down on the man's jugular. Sparrow was in for a ride with this entry.</p>
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